Well we did go into the hospital on January 5th and around 10am they gave me the first prostaglandin to induce labor. It took about 4 prostaglandins that were spaced about 6 hours in between for us to deliver our sweet angel. The side effects from the drugs were pretty rough. I would not wish this kind of delivery upon anyone. However on Jan 5th all of our family was in the room and I told the nurse that I wanted to listen to her heartbeat by doppler and we could hear the strongest heartbeat ever and that is the last time I will ever hear her heartbeat. My water broke around 10 am on Jan 6th and labor pretty much stopped after that. At around 2pm my doctor came in and he said that it was time to push and I pushed and Isabelle was born into this world. There was no heartbeat or breaths at that time. Andy and I got to see her and she looked perfect to us and she always will be. She was 8 inches long and 5.6 oz. The nurses took her away and cleaned her up and brought her back in a basket with blankets all around her and a hat that fit perfectly on her little head. We held her for such a long time and memorized every part of her so that we could remember her forever. Our families were there and they got to see her also. We passed her around and everyone cried and looked at her beautiful small body. Then after some time we said our goodbyes and gave her back to the nurse.
We had her body cremated at a local funeral home and held a memorial on January 11, 2011. It was at the Memorial Park Cemetary and we had a lot of family there supporting us. Our pastor came and was absolutely amazing. He always seems to know just what to say. Isabelle's ashes were in a casket and Andy and I placed a single pink rose on top of her casket. It was a beautiful ceremony! Andy, Dana, and I went and got coffee afterwards and then we went back to the cemetary to see where she was buried at. We will put a marker on at a later date. There was a reception after the memorial at Roxanne and Steve's house, where a social worker from St Luke's that knew Roxanne, had donated a ham, scalloped potatoes, and chips and salsa.
I miss her so much and still don't understand why she was taken away from me at such a young age. She had her whole life ahead of her. I guess these are things that I will never understand...I do have some poems that I absolutely love and they have helped me a little bit.
I didn't have to look into your eyes to fall in love with you.
I didn't have to hear you cry to know you loved me too.
I didn't need to hold your hand to cherish you forever.
Within my womb, we shared our hearts, you touched my soul.
You sweetened my spirit.
You gave me memories I will always hold dear. Yes, my heart aches since you departed too soon.
But a mother's love does not end with death. For you are my child, Forever my love is yours.
~Unknown
The world may never notice if a snowdrop never blooms,
Or even pause to wonder,
If the pedal falls too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we do love you.
~Unknown
God's Flower Garden
Sometimes we can't quite understand Our Great Creators way
When he takes a life so young And leaves one withered, old and gray.
Whose life work seems finished, Perhaps is waiting for the call
While that life so young and tender
Held so much love for us all.
Then sometimes I get to thinking,
Perhaps this world down here below
Is just a flower garden,
Where God's flowers live and grow,
And perhaps when God is lonely ,
Like us, He likes to roam
In His garden gathering flowers
Just to beautify his Home.
Tho' He takes the full-bloom flowers
Drooped and withered that need His care
Still He needs a bud or blossom,
To scatter with them here and there,
So He takes a few choice blossoms
Just the rarest He can find
And because God needs them up in Heaven,
Must comfort loved ones left behind.
~Jeanne Parker
Revelations 21:4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; There shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.
I know that Isabelle has no pain and suffering and all she ever knew was love. She is up in heaven meeting up with all of our relatives that have passed away and that she is safe with Jesus. I love you my sweet angel Isabelle Grace Gould!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thegouldfam/sets/72157625683205997/
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