After some really tough discussions with our doctor as well as Andy and I, we have decided to induce labor on Jan. 5th. We will go in around 6 am and I will have prostaglandins given to me to induce the labor. While I am excited to meet my little girl Isabelle..I am sad that she may not make it through birth or may only live a few hours or minutes. It breaks my heart to have all of these plans for another child and they shatter like a mirror. I know we will be able to have more kids someday but I really wanted this little girl. The doctor's said that our chances of having another anencephaly baby are 3-4% so at least that is a good number. However why did this happen to us? I wish I had an answer. The only answer I could get was maybe a blood clotting disorder or because we are of Northern European descent. When I asked Dr. Eastman how many babies he has seen with this he said probably 10 in his career of being a doctor for 15 years. It is not very common. My friend that is an OB nurse says that she only sees one anencephaly baby delivered a year at her hospital. Why did we have to be that one? Well for whatever reason we are.
We have been put on a prayer list at our church and have spoken with our pastor. He also feels that we are making the best choice for our family and has had another family had this same experience in the church. He is going to speak with them and see if they would want to talk to us about it.
All of our family and friends have been amazing in this devastating situation by sending flowers and cards. My family and Andy's family have been helping us with setting up a memorial for our daughter that will be held on January 10.
In my earlier paragraph I told you that her name will be Isabelle. We will call her Isabelle Grace. Isabelle means "oath to God". I have made an oath to God that if it is his will that he please only take one child away from me. I really don't know if I can handle another loss. In the Bible it tells us that God will only give you what you can handle...well this is it...I can't handle any more losses.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Bad news from OB office!
Last Wednesday while I was at work I got a call from my OB office telling me that my AFP (alpha feta protein which checks for abnormalities and neural tube defects as well as down's syndrome among a few things) was positive for neural tube defects and Trisomy 18. I was shocked becuase I never thought anything like this would happen to me. I started crying and I told my manager that I needed to leave work for the day. When the doctor's office also called I moved my ultrasound up to the next day.
On Thursday I went in and before my ultrasound the doctor came into to talk to me about my positive results and he informed me that based on the test results we had a 1 in 3 chance of have a baby with a neural tube defect. That was super high so then I was even more worried. The ultrasound tech started to do my ultrasound and everything looked good except for the head. I noticed this right away. The ultrasound tech couldn't tell us anything but she said that she will go get the doctor. Dr. Eastman came back in and told us that our baby doesn't have a brain or a skull and he will contact the perinatologist Dr Barsoom to confirm this. I immediately started crying and I didn't know what to think. The nurse came in next and said that they could get me in at St. Luke's Hospital right away to do a Level II ultrasound, which is more defined, and do a teleconference with Dr. Barsoom. Before we left the doctor's office we met one more time with Dr. Eastman. He told us that this condition is not compatible with life and our option is to induce labor. He told us that the baby may be stillborn upon birth or may live a few minutes or hours. He told me that he would give us prostaglandins to induce birth and have the baby naturally. He was great at explaining everything and assured us that there was nothing we could do to prevent this since we were taking prenatal vitamins. It just happens.
Next we went over to the hospital and got admitted for our next ultrasound. The ultrasound tech took a few pictures and then got Dr. Barsoom on a big TV screen and she showed him a few pictures of the baby. He confirmed that the baby has anencephaly which means there is no skull or brain. He also gave us options just like Dr. Eastman did. He also told us that we would do some genetic testing and they would also test me for MTHFR which takes the folic acid away from the baby. He also said that we would have a 3% risk of having another baby like this, so that was a relief. We talked to him for a little while longer and answered our questions.
We left there thinking what do we do next? Of course we have a lot of decisions to make and our family and friends have been great during this very difficult time.
On Thursday I went in and before my ultrasound the doctor came into to talk to me about my positive results and he informed me that based on the test results we had a 1 in 3 chance of have a baby with a neural tube defect. That was super high so then I was even more worried. The ultrasound tech started to do my ultrasound and everything looked good except for the head. I noticed this right away. The ultrasound tech couldn't tell us anything but she said that she will go get the doctor. Dr. Eastman came back in and told us that our baby doesn't have a brain or a skull and he will contact the perinatologist Dr Barsoom to confirm this. I immediately started crying and I didn't know what to think. The nurse came in next and said that they could get me in at St. Luke's Hospital right away to do a Level II ultrasound, which is more defined, and do a teleconference with Dr. Barsoom. Before we left the doctor's office we met one more time with Dr. Eastman. He told us that this condition is not compatible with life and our option is to induce labor. He told us that the baby may be stillborn upon birth or may live a few minutes or hours. He told me that he would give us prostaglandins to induce birth and have the baby naturally. He was great at explaining everything and assured us that there was nothing we could do to prevent this since we were taking prenatal vitamins. It just happens.
Next we went over to the hospital and got admitted for our next ultrasound. The ultrasound tech took a few pictures and then got Dr. Barsoom on a big TV screen and she showed him a few pictures of the baby. He confirmed that the baby has anencephaly which means there is no skull or brain. He also gave us options just like Dr. Eastman did. He also told us that we would do some genetic testing and they would also test me for MTHFR which takes the folic acid away from the baby. He also said that we would have a 3% risk of having another baby like this, so that was a relief. We talked to him for a little while longer and answered our questions.
We left there thinking what do we do next? Of course we have a lot of decisions to make and our family and friends have been great during this very difficult time.
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