In late December when we found out our prognosis with Isabelle, we decided to book a trip to Mexico for just the two of us! We had an amazing time. We stayed for 6 days and 5 nights. We received a couple's massage on Tuesday morning last week and it was amazing. It was so relaxing! We also went snorkeling on the mesoamerican reef near Puerto Morelos where we stayed. It is the second largest reef in the world and we saw things like sea turtles, angel fish, lobster, star fish, and a squid. It was by far the best snorkeling I have ever had.
The resort we stayed at was Ocean Coral and Turquesa in Puerto Morelos, Mexico. It had 6 restaurants, 4 pools, and the night life was awesome. We listened to karoake one night, danced a few nights, and watched grease put together by the staff at the resort. We definitely needed to get away and this was the perfect get away.
Our parents watched Jamison. Steve and Roxanne watched J for the first part of our vacation and my parents watched Jamison the last part of our vacay. He did amazing! He slept through the night for them every night and played all day! He missed us but had a ton of fun with grandma and grandpa!
Also I go back to work on Feb 21 and when I go back I am so excited to be part time. I know that I will not regret this decision because I have loved spending my time with Jamison while I have been off of work. It will be the perfect balance. He will get to spend about 2-3 days a week at daycare with his buddies and the rest of the week at home with me! I will work 3 days a week. I do realize that we have been through a very difficult time lately but it has made me realize how lucky I am to have the things we do have. We are all healthy, we have a wonderful little boy, a great marriage, and a wonderful home. I am still a very blessed person and all the prayers from people have helped because we really feel at peace knowing that Isabelle is in heaven!
Here are more pics of our vacay http://www.flickr.com/photos/thegouldfam/sets/72157625938451906/show/
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Remembering Isabelle Grace Gould
Well we did go into the hospital on January 5th and around 10am they gave me the first prostaglandin to induce labor. It took about 4 prostaglandins that were spaced about 6 hours in between for us to deliver our sweet angel. The side effects from the drugs were pretty rough. I would not wish this kind of delivery upon anyone. However on Jan 5th all of our family was in the room and I told the nurse that I wanted to listen to her heartbeat by doppler and we could hear the strongest heartbeat ever and that is the last time I will ever hear her heartbeat. My water broke around 10 am on Jan 6th and labor pretty much stopped after that. At around 2pm my doctor came in and he said that it was time to push and I pushed and Isabelle was born into this world. There was no heartbeat or breaths at that time. Andy and I got to see her and she looked perfect to us and she always will be. She was 8 inches long and 5.6 oz. The nurses took her away and cleaned her up and brought her back in a basket with blankets all around her and a hat that fit perfectly on her little head. We held her for such a long time and memorized every part of her so that we could remember her forever. Our families were there and they got to see her also. We passed her around and everyone cried and looked at her beautiful small body. Then after some time we said our goodbyes and gave her back to the nurse.
We had her body cremated at a local funeral home and held a memorial on January 11, 2011. It was at the Memorial Park Cemetary and we had a lot of family there supporting us. Our pastor came and was absolutely amazing. He always seems to know just what to say. Isabelle's ashes were in a casket and Andy and I placed a single pink rose on top of her casket. It was a beautiful ceremony! Andy, Dana, and I went and got coffee afterwards and then we went back to the cemetary to see where she was buried at. We will put a marker on at a later date. There was a reception after the memorial at Roxanne and Steve's house, where a social worker from St Luke's that knew Roxanne, had donated a ham, scalloped potatoes, and chips and salsa.
I miss her so much and still don't understand why she was taken away from me at such a young age. She had her whole life ahead of her. I guess these are things that I will never understand...I do have some poems that I absolutely love and they have helped me a little bit.
I didn't have to look into your eyes to fall in love with you.
I didn't have to hear you cry to know you loved me too.
I didn't need to hold your hand to cherish you forever.
Within my womb, we shared our hearts, you touched my soul.
You sweetened my spirit.
You gave me memories I will always hold dear. Yes, my heart aches since you departed too soon.
But a mother's love does not end with death. For you are my child, Forever my love is yours.
~Unknown
The world may never notice if a snowdrop never blooms,
Or even pause to wonder,
If the pedal falls too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we do love you.
~Unknown
God's Flower Garden
Sometimes we can't quite understand Our Great Creators way
When he takes a life so young And leaves one withered, old and gray.
Whose life work seems finished, Perhaps is waiting for the call
While that life so young and tender
Held so much love for us all.
Then sometimes I get to thinking,
Perhaps this world down here below
Is just a flower garden,
Where God's flowers live and grow,
And perhaps when God is lonely ,
Like us, He likes to roam
In His garden gathering flowers
Just to beautify his Home.
Tho' He takes the full-bloom flowers
Drooped and withered that need His care
Still He needs a bud or blossom,
To scatter with them here and there,
So He takes a few choice blossoms
Just the rarest He can find
And because God needs them up in Heaven,
Must comfort loved ones left behind.
~Jeanne Parker
Revelations 21:4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; There shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.
I know that Isabelle has no pain and suffering and all she ever knew was love. She is up in heaven meeting up with all of our relatives that have passed away and that she is safe with Jesus. I love you my sweet angel Isabelle Grace Gould!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thegouldfam/sets/72157625683205997/
We had her body cremated at a local funeral home and held a memorial on January 11, 2011. It was at the Memorial Park Cemetary and we had a lot of family there supporting us. Our pastor came and was absolutely amazing. He always seems to know just what to say. Isabelle's ashes were in a casket and Andy and I placed a single pink rose on top of her casket. It was a beautiful ceremony! Andy, Dana, and I went and got coffee afterwards and then we went back to the cemetary to see where she was buried at. We will put a marker on at a later date. There was a reception after the memorial at Roxanne and Steve's house, where a social worker from St Luke's that knew Roxanne, had donated a ham, scalloped potatoes, and chips and salsa.
I miss her so much and still don't understand why she was taken away from me at such a young age. She had her whole life ahead of her. I guess these are things that I will never understand...I do have some poems that I absolutely love and they have helped me a little bit.
I didn't have to look into your eyes to fall in love with you.
I didn't have to hear you cry to know you loved me too.
I didn't need to hold your hand to cherish you forever.
Within my womb, we shared our hearts, you touched my soul.
You sweetened my spirit.
You gave me memories I will always hold dear. Yes, my heart aches since you departed too soon.
But a mother's love does not end with death. For you are my child, Forever my love is yours.
~Unknown
The world may never notice if a snowdrop never blooms,
Or even pause to wonder,
If the pedal falls too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we do love you.
~Unknown
God's Flower Garden
Sometimes we can't quite understand Our Great Creators way
When he takes a life so young And leaves one withered, old and gray.
Whose life work seems finished, Perhaps is waiting for the call
While that life so young and tender
Held so much love for us all.
Then sometimes I get to thinking,
Perhaps this world down here below
Is just a flower garden,
Where God's flowers live and grow,
And perhaps when God is lonely ,
Like us, He likes to roam
In His garden gathering flowers
Just to beautify his Home.
Tho' He takes the full-bloom flowers
Drooped and withered that need His care
Still He needs a bud or blossom,
To scatter with them here and there,
So He takes a few choice blossoms
Just the rarest He can find
And because God needs them up in Heaven,
Must comfort loved ones left behind.
~Jeanne Parker
Revelations 21:4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; There shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.
I know that Isabelle has no pain and suffering and all she ever knew was love. She is up in heaven meeting up with all of our relatives that have passed away and that she is safe with Jesus. I love you my sweet angel Isabelle Grace Gould!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thegouldfam/sets/72157625683205997/
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Duke University Study
I am so excited that Duke University called me back today! We are going to participate in a study for anencephaly babies and neural tube defects. The University is sending St. Luke's kits to draw Andy and I's blood and take a 20cm sample of skin from the baby for DNA testing. We won't get our results back, however we will be part of a huge research study that will hopefully find out what causes anencephaly so we can prevent it in the future. I hope that no other family has to go through this and they find a way to prevent it. Here is a link to Duke's research for anencephaly.... http://www.chg.duke.edu/diseases/anencephaly.html
We are going to induce labor tomorrow. I will go in around 6 to 7am and they will give me prostaglandins every 6 hours until the baby is born. I am excited to meet my little girl and I really hope that I get to spend some time with her. I hope that she is alive for a few hours so she will get to meet her mommy and daddy. Please pray for us tomorrow as it will be a very difficult day.
We are going to induce labor tomorrow. I will go in around 6 to 7am and they will give me prostaglandins every 6 hours until the baby is born. I am excited to meet my little girl and I really hope that I get to spend some time with her. I hope that she is alive for a few hours so she will get to meet her mommy and daddy. Please pray for us tomorrow as it will be a very difficult day.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Christmas 2010
Christmas 2010 046
Originally uploaded by ajgould
The weekend before my parents were out here and we celebrated our Christmas and it was a ton of fun too. It was good timing cuz the day they came in town was the day we found out our results on the ultrasound. It was great to have my family here during that time.
Jamison loved Christmas too and he got some pretty cool toys. Among his faves are going fishing in the wood boat for fish with a magnet pole, a tent with a tunnel, bear pet pillow, guitar, drum, tools and tool bench (although he still seems to like daddy's tools more). Jamison has really helped me a lot through this situation cuz all I have to do is look at him and he makes me smile. He has been learning some new sign language and new words recently. He knows the sign to more and can say it. He loves the word ball and can say baba, hot, cold, bath, and bye bye are among the words that he says. He also associates the words to their meaning. He is the best little boy and we are the luckiest parents in the world to have a son like him!
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