Doctor visit

After some really tough discussions with our doctor as well as Andy and I, we have decided to induce labor on Jan. 5th. We will go in around 6 am and I will have prostaglandins given to me to induce the labor. While I am excited to meet my little girl Isabelle..I am sad that she may not make it through birth or may only live a few hours or minutes. It breaks my heart to have all of these plans for another child and they shatter like a mirror. I know we will be able to have more kids someday but I really wanted this little girl. The doctor's said that our chances of having another anencephaly baby are 3-4% so at least that is a good number. However why did this happen to us? I wish I had an answer. The only answer I could get was maybe a blood clotting disorder or because we are of Northern European descent. When I asked Dr. Eastman how many babies he has seen with this he said probably 10 in his career of being a doctor for 15 years. It is not very common. My friend that is an OB nurse says that she only sees one anencephaly baby delivered a year at her hospital. Why did we have to be that one? Well for whatever reason we are.

We have been put on a prayer list at our church and have spoken with our pastor. He also feels that we are making the best choice for our family and has had another family had this same experience in the church. He is going to speak with them and see if they would want to talk to us about it.

All of our family and friends have been amazing in this devastating situation by sending flowers and cards. My family and Andy's family have been helping us with setting up a memorial for our daughter that will be held on January 10.

In my earlier paragraph I told you that her name will be Isabelle. We will call her Isabelle Grace. Isabelle means "oath to God". I have made an oath to God that if it is his will that he please only take one child away from me. I really don't know if I can handle another loss. In the Bible it tells us that God will only give you what you can handle...well this is it...I can't handle any more losses.